Our daughter is Gone!

Our daughter was murdered this month. I can't focus on the details of her death, but I know many of us are struggling.

I am amazed that we are all standing but I know it is God's strenght that has kept us going because we do smile and laugh among ourselves and that is good. I beleieve when we are alone that then it hits us harder. That seems to be my case.

I don't cry a lot, not as much as when her body was found and our 18 year old grandson had to identify her! She is not my blood. She is my heart!

From the first time I met her in a guatemalan orphanage with her melon colored skin, twinkling eyes, sweet shy smile and curly hair, I was hooked. She told me my hair, a short bush, was like her mom's.

Her father had died when she was three in a car accident. Her mother was murdered by her new husband when she was seven. That's why she was in the Children's Home. She had runaway from a murderer and a perverted sexual preditor.

God kept her safe on the streets for one night and she was taken to the Children's Home. damaged and vulnerable but with an inner strength that didm't give up in a fight.

She would tremble at a raised voice with a quivering chin and tear filled eyes at seven but at twelve when challenged by an older teen, she would come out fighting like a lion cub.

When we, she and my son, left the Home, she glowed. She excelled at school and was nominated Queen for the school year. Did she win? No, she mistepped with her mom over a bad decision on her part and was taken out of the competition.

Was she mad? For a while, with tears and tremblings, but she picked herself up and smiled and laughed her days away.

When she left at 16, with bitter words that only a 16 year old can say, she left behind a little brother who adored her and a mother who continued to pray for her.

She returned a few year later with a beautiful baby boy and a man in her life she said loved her, encouraged her and liked her for herself.

Was she beautiful!? She was stunning and joyful and delightful and funny.

When my husband came into her life 10 year ago, she practically melted at his feet. She had a dad and he loved her no matter what. He challenged her but she didnt care because she knew he was genuine and loved her forever.

What a life our Aimee had, .short, exciting, adventuresome and dangerous even. It was her life and truly she did not deserve to die in such a brutal fashion.

None of us can dictate the character of people and why they do what they do. We can only pray for those who have no regard for human life and forgive them as we have been forgiven.

We are not angry. We are not vengeful. We are sad but settled in the arms of Jesus, who is our comfort and our joy.

Her three boys are with us, teenagers from 18 to 14. Two mild mannered boys and one with his mother's ways, who was her daily challenge.

They want to be with us and we are glad because we want them to have a future and a hope. They have dreams and goals they want to achieve.

The oldest is very responable and easy going. He grew up knowing and seeing too much of the hard life but it did not make him bitter. It made him resilent.

We are so proud of him and how he cares for his younger brothers is amazing. He is in University and has a part time job.

We are technically responsible for them and am determined to help them to fulfill their dreams.

She would have wanted that. She loved her boys. They loved her. We love her still.

So, we look foward and not behind, trusting for strength, joy, peace and a good outcome for our grandsons not only for our sake but for the sake of our beloved, beautiful daughter...Aimee.